🐔 April: “Hedwig and the Egg Identity Crisis”

Narrated by Hedwig the Hen
Senior layer. Coop historian. Knows who laid what—and who’s lying about it.

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It started with an egg.
Perfect shape. Warm.
Left in the middle nesting box like a trophy.

Naturally, everyone claimed it.

Clover strutted past and said, “That’s mine.”
Junebug fluffed her feathers and said, “I laid that yesterday.”
Even the guinea hen wandered in, looked at it sideways, and muttered something about “trying new things.”

I rolled my eyes.
I’ve been laying since before half these hens knew what a nesting box was.

Then came the roosters.
Beast puffed up and crowed like his future offspring had just won a prize.
Echo tried to flirt with three hens at once.
Salem stood in the corner looking mysterious.
Skittles just screamed.

Meanwhile, the humans arrived.

The girl child peeked into the coop and shouted, “We got a green one!”
The boy child ran in with a bucket, slipped on straw, and blamed the guinea.
The adult sighed, collected the eggs, and muttered something about “needing more labels.”

Good luck with that.

Back in the coop, the drama continued.
Someone laid a speckled egg.
Someone laid one with a weird ridge.
Someone laid one on the ramp—a crime against poultry.

I tried to restore order.
I gave a firm cluck.
I pecked the edge of the nesting box for emphasis.
No one listened.

By mid-morning, the guinea was pacing.
Echo was still flirting.
And Beast had declared, “That one’s gonna be mine.”
Sure, buddy.

I laid one more.
Quietly.
In the back corner.
No fuss.

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🥚 Feathered Footnote:

I know who laid what.
I just don’t feel like telling.

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📸 Meet the Narrator: Hedwig the Hen

Hedwig is one of the longest-standing hens on the farm—a seasoned layer with strong opinions and a sharp beak. She’s seen generations of roosters come and go, survived molting season with dignity, and still lays with precision and pride.

The photo featured here is a close-up of Hedwig in the coop, capturing her signature stare and no-nonsense attitude. She’s the kind of hen who knows exactly who laid what—and isn’t afraid to cluck about it.