Narrated by Lucy the Goose
Winter Watchdog. Honk-first-ask-questions-later. Has opinions on everything.
It started with a suspicious silence.
I waddled past the porch, past the woodpile, past the rabbit hutches—nothing. Not a cluck, not a bleat, not even a human mutter. Highly irregular.
I honked once. No response.
I honked twice. Still nothing.
Clearly, something was wrong.
I marched to the coop. The chickens were locked up tight, sulking in their straw nests like feathered prisoners. I peered through the wire. Hedwig gave me a look. The kind that says, “Don’t ask. It’s cold.”
Fine. I moved on.
The rabbits were buried in hay, pretending not to notice the frozen water crocks. The humans were late. Again. I honked toward the house. No movement. I honked louder. A window curtain twitched. Progress.
Eventually, the door creaked open and a bundled-up human emerged, carrying a bucket and muttering something about “just five minutes.”
Five minutes? I’ve been patrolling since dawn.
They started with the chickens—classic. Egg collection, feed, waterer removal. I watched as one chicken made a break for it. Darted right past the human and into the snow. I honked in alarm. The human chased. I supervised.
The chase led past the rabbit hutches, where the hay was clearly low. That triggered a detour to the feed bins. I followed, of course.
The bins had chew marks. Mice. Again. I honked in disapproval. The human sighed and cleaned up the oats.
Then came the muttering about oatmeal. And firewood. And breakfast.
I escorted them to the woodpile, where they grabbed a few logs and—because they never learn—stuffed the collected eggs into their coat pocket.
I honked a warning.
They didn’t listen.
And that’s when it happened.
Crunch.
Another egg, sacrificed to the gods of multitasking.
Feathered Footnote:
I remain the only reliable creature on this property.
You’re welcome.
📸 Meet the Narrator: Lucy the Goose
Lucy is a Chinese Brown Goose and the very first goose to join our farm. We brought her home from the 4H auction in 2022, and she’s been patrolling the property ever since. The photo featured here shows Lucy during her first winter—huddled up with our original flock of Silver Appleyard and Harlequin ducks inside one of our earliest coops, which was lovingly (and crudely) built from pallets.
These days, Lucy enjoys full free-range access, spends her time chasing bugs, honking at suspicious activity, and doing her best to avoid our border collie, Tir. She takes her role as winter watchdog very seriously—and she’s not afraid to let you know when something’s out of order.
