You ever hear through the grapevine that an event happened—something you’ve been attending for years, something you’ve helped cook for, clean for, organize for—but somehow, nobody thought to invite you this time?
Yeah. That.
Let’s talk about why the whole “Oh, but you KNOW you’re always welcome!” line is absolute nonsense.
If You Want Someone There, You Invite Them
I don’t care if it’s a weekly meetup, a yearly event, or something we’ve attended since the dawn of time—if I didn’t get an invite this year, I’m not showing up.
Why? Because I don’t play guessing games with my own relevance. I’m not about to assume I’m wanted just because I used to be.
And honestly, if someone is truly welcome and loved, you tell them. You make sure they know. You don’t just expect them to psychically detect the event through sheer force of nostalgia.
Especially when events change schedules—because nothing says “We totally value you” like expecting people to just randomly show up on the correct weekend by instinct.
And speaking of how this group runs things…
Consistency Is Apparently Too Much to Ask For
One of my friends, who used to be deeply involved with this group’s events, has been bringing the same dish every single time for years—salad and grapes.
Every single time.
No surprises.
No wild card moment.
And yet, the group somehow “didn’t know” to bring forks—because apparently, keeping track of the most predictable contribution in human history was just too overwhelming.
Let’s break this down logically:
- We are supposed to know, after years of invites, that we are welcome—without being told.
- They are somehow NOT supposed to know, after years of consistency, that she’s bringing salad.
Make it make sense.
That moment was the first real red flag.
The realization that no one was paying attention, no one was actually valuing the effort, no one was even slightly prepared for what she had consistently contributed for years.
And it didn’t stop at food—it started spilling into the invitations too.
First, the outreach slowed.
Then, the invites stopped.
Then, when confronted, the response was the same hollow line:
“Oh, but you KNOW you’re always welcome!”
If This Is Family, I’ll Pass
For years, we were told we were family to this group.
That we were valued.
That we belonged.
And yet, the treatment didn’t line up. The communication didn’t line up. The basic respect for inclusion didn’t line up.
At this point? I’m better off without the gaslighting, emotional manipulation, and insecurity of wondering whether I’m wanted.
I know my worth.
I know what real inclusion looks like.
And I know damn well I’m not playing along with people who can’t even send an invite but still expect my loyalty.
What about you? Ever been expected to just know you’re welcome while also being treated like an afterthought? Pull up a chair—let’s talk about why “family” should mean actual effort, not vague excuses.
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