Alright, pull up a chair because we need to talk about this. I’ve got five kids earthside, with number six about to make her debut any day now (assuming she’s willing to evict herself—or rather, be evicted), and let me tell you, trying to keep them off electronics and involved in real-life responsibilities feels like swimming upstream some days. But I’m going to say something that might ruffle a few feathers: kids today aren’t overworked, overscheduled, or overwhelmed because they’ve got too much to do. They’re overwhelmed because they’re not doing enough of the right things.
Let me explain. I recently read an article about how parents are shelling out $125–$225 an hour for executive function coaches to teach their teens basic life skills like planning, impulse control, and task management. You know, the stuff kids used to learn naturally by doing chores or helping out on the farm. I couldn’t believe it. We’re hiring people to teach kids how to do what they could learn by feeding a chicken or planting a tomato.
Take my teenager, for example. She’s 14, lives with her dad, and all she wants to do is stay inside on her phone. When she’s at my house, I tried telling her she wouldn’t have her phone and that she’d be outside working with the rest of the family, but she refused to come back over. Her dad even threw a fit when I tried to set boundaries. Fine, whatever. I remember being 14. I remember thinking I knew everything and not wanting to listen. I also remember where that got me—and it wasn’t anywhere good.
My 9-year-old is another story. He’s got chores to do every day on the farm—like taking care of the chickens in the afternoons since this pregnancy has me sidelined. And what does he do? He rushes through them as fast as possible just to get back inside to his computer. This has led to more time being grounded from electronics than he’s spent using them this year. And let’s be clear, this isn’t about me running some kind of child labor camp. It’s about teaching responsibility and the value of meaningful work. If that makes me old-fashioned, so be it.
Here’s the kicker: the other kids are doing great. The 11-year-old is one of the hardest workers I’ve ever met—thank you, grandparents, for instilling that in him. The younger ones, at 6 and 3, would rather play than work, but they’re getting the hang of it. It’s not about perfection; it’s about teaching them that being part of a family means contributing, not just consuming.
So why is this so hard? Because the culture today doesn’t value meaningful work. It values convenience, comfort, and instant gratification. Kids are glued to screens instead of learning how to do anything real. And that’s not just me ranting; it’s science. Executive function skills—like planning, problem-solving, and impulse control—don’t come from sitting on TikTok. They come from doing. From figuring out how to twist an apple off a branch, carrying water to chickens, or planting a garden.
It’s not just parenting, either—it’s society. Take e-learning days instead of traditional snow days, for example. What used to be a time for kids to bundle up, build snow forts, and just be kids is now another excuse to put them in front of a screen. We’re teaching them to prioritize virtual over real-life experiences, and then we wonder why they can’t plan or problem-solve when it matters.
Homesteading isn’t just cute Instagram pictures of chickens and sunflowers. It’s teaching life skills in the most natural way possible. You want your kid to learn responsibility? Give them a flock of chickens to care for. You want them to learn problem-solving? Watch them figure out how to keep rabbits out of the garden. Self-worth doesn’t come from getting likes on a post; it comes from doing meaningful work and seeing the results.
And don’t even get me started on the food side of this. We’re feeding kids junk food, chemical-laden snacks, and ultra-processed garbage, then wondering why they can’t focus, can’t plan, can’t function. Maybe instead of handing them a Lunchable and an iPad, we could hand them a basket and teach them to collect eggs for breakfast. Just a thought.
Even my own kids are starting to notice the difference. Just this morning, my 9-year-old asked me if I’d start packing his lunches for school because, as he put it, “we eat differently at home.” He’s not wrong! And my 6-year-old has been begging me to get up and make breakfast before daycare and school because she’s heard me rant about the “pure sugar” they serve for breakfast—cereal, Pop-Tarts, you name it. Kids are paying attention, even when we think they’re not, and these little moments show me that they’re starting to understand the value of real food. It’s a small victory, but I’ll take it.
Look, I get it. Parenting is hard. Setting boundaries with screens and schedules is hard. But here’s the truth: kids need chores. They need responsibilities. They need to be part of something bigger than themselves. That’s not abuse—it’s preparing them for the real world. The real abuse? Letting them rot in front of screens, feeding them garbage food, and then wondering why they can’t function as adults.
So here’s my pitch: instead of hiring executive function coaches, let’s bring back the homestead lifestyle. Let’s invest in gardening, backyard chickens, and real responsibilities. Let’s teach kids the value of meaningful work and give them the tools they need to thrive—not just survive.
Because honestly? TikTok isn’t going to teach them how to plant a garden or raise a family. And it sure as hell isn’t going to help them build a life worth living.
Until next time,
Traci
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