Nothing makes my eye twitch quite like a copy/paste cold email that pretends to be thoughtfully researched when, in reality, it’s just lazy mass messaging blasted into the void.
I get them constantly—shipping companies, AI firms, random B2B services all pretending they’ve done some deep investigative work into my farm, when one quick glance at our website, our social media, or literally anything we’ve ever said publicly would prove we are not their target audience.
And the best one yet?
“We’ve done some research on your company and noticed that you maintain a strong volume of incoming containers through the Port of Savannah. Given our experience in handling high-volume drayage operations, we believe [company name] could bring real value to your supply chain.”
Excuse me?
We do not import. We do not ship products. We make it painfully clear all over our platforms that we buy local, reduce our carbon footprint, and operate within a sustainable food system. So where exactly did this “research” come from? Because unless these people are consulting a magical, alternate-reality version of my farm, this is just flat-out nonsense.
The Cold Email Problem
Look, I understand cold emailing is part of business. I get that companies need to reach potential clients. But at the bare minimum, if you’re going to pretend you did research, maybe actually do research?
- Skim the website.
- Read a social media post.
- Spend two minutes verifying that your product even remotely aligns with what I do.
Instead, these emails are clearly sent en masse, as if shouting into the internet will magically generate leads. And worse, they always have that same fake-personalized tone, acting like they care about my business when it’s glaringly obvious they don’t even know what we do.
A Message to Every Cold Emailer Out There
If you’re going to reach out to business owners, try literally any effort beyond slapping a name into a template.
If your pitch starts with “We’ve done some research on your company”, maybe check to make sure your next sentence isn’t a blatant lie.
And if your strategy is just blind mass emailing, maybe rethink why no one is responding to you.
Because I promise you—if you email me saying I have incoming containers through the Port of Savannah, when I’m over here raising poultry and running a sustainable farm, I am never doing business with you.
What ridiculous cold emails have you gotten lately? Pull up a chair—let’s talk about why these companies need to learn how to do actual research before hitting send.
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